Changing My Internal Environment

What makes a good massage therapist? What keeps you going back to someone?

I like to think that this is something that goes beyond what you might typically think. From my experience, I have had massages from people that were good for that time then I would forget about them later. Some occasions left me with better impressions that made me want to work with that person again and that was because there was a connection beyond the work we were doing.

Prior to the 2020 pandemic I struggled with myself a lot. As with anyone it had to do with what was going on in my mind and how I thought and felt about myself. Was I happy? Was I satisfied with the way life was going?

No.

That kind of strife shows up. You can only fake it for so long until the truth emerges and filters out into all aspects of life.

After the world shut down, I found that I was surprisingly calm. Since I was a “non-essential” business, I didn’t work for a few months. With no where to go I had no one to be. Within that I found Zen. There was no need for coping mechanisms. My time was spent in introspection, exploration, and brainstorming in case my profession would suffer long-term consequences. Somewhere along the process, it occurred to me that the disconnect from my work stemmed from the fact that I was working to help people be healthier and connected to themselves when I was actively doing the opposite for myself. That’s when I decided to make a shift.

I stopped drinking alcohol. I quit habitual drug use (brought on by someone I was dating prior to the pandemic). I delved into self-improvement and self-healing work. I discovered new hobbies that nourished my spirit instead of numbing or depleting it. All these things I was ready for.

Since then, I’ve had barely any sense of the phenomena knowns as “imposter syndrome” knowing what I’m capable of and where my limits were. I’ve also found it easier to connect with people letting them know who I am now that I have a better idea of myself. All in all, helping myself has aided in me becoming a better practitioner in the realm of massage and bodywork combining the physicality with the psychology and intuitive parts. I also think this is why I am able to offer a more unique experience compared to others in my field.

It took me a long time to figure this out. I thought it was just a desire to learn more and apply those skills. It really is more than that and this has recently been evident with clients expressing how grateful they are and how appreciative they are for the work I do.

I’m glad I’m doing my part to make this world a less shitty place.